In the midst of nothing there You Are

i left my body to be ridiculed
humiliated and trampled
the thoughts and feelings
that were clearly mine
i tasted rejection
i let my heart dissolve
in my liquid state
i closed my eyes
but death refused me
the screams were loudest
in my prayers
the scratches i made
out of my pleas
bled out of me
to Him
i gathered the ashes
of me
offered them to the Lord
but He would not take
them
“I sacrificed Myself for you.”
“I bled and died for you.”
I will heal you
raise you up to beauty"
I will put rings on your
fingers."
Jewels over your heart."
no one can touch the diamond
in you."
i didn’t comprehend
love in its truest form
what did i know of it
but neglect,
words that cursed
emotions that crushed me
not for good
just because it lifted
another
to trample me
and then discard
as rubbish
when i lifted my face
from the carpet
all the words
were accepted,
understood,
and healed
i emerged from
the Secret Place
of His Heart
where Love washed me
always it had stained
but a gentle whisper
spoke in the deepest
part of my being
“it was lust that stained
you, not Love.”
it was lust that tore your
robes to shreds and left
you naked and hungry
in the wilderness."
i recalled those times
prayers without words
escaped my lips
when i offered
only tears
and traces of blood
petrified to scabs
when so-called friends
could not be bothered
and all i attracted was
darkness
in the midst of nothing
there you are.

copyright2010misfit1965