I Was Given As A Trust

I am bone of your bones
and flesh of your flesh
The Lord began my life
inside of your womb

You were already my mommy

I already love you
don’t you know I already do

tho’ I don’t know how
to tell you
I only mouth the words
the Lord put there
I give you hints,
when I press up close
against your warm belly
and splash around inside

But you don’t say,

you love me

or even want me

I only want your love

but you never speak to me
except to say,

“the thing inside,
I want it out of me.”
or
“it was a mistake”

you never hug me
or hold me,

“Are you mad at me?”

Lots of days pass
and I know,
don’t ask, how?
You are the person
God said,
wants me
I only hear the word,
abortion
it is like a prayer to you

What can I do ?
when you don’t
want me anymore?
when you call me,
“a burden”,
a pimple,
a bastard."

in the day,
when Jesus shines His Face
you are the same,
you punch me in the face,
as I reach out to touch you
I hear you say just a few more
days,

when the stars
come out,
I’ve spent the entire
day,
just for a single touch
of your hand,
you don’t rub
your belly,
so I can know
you want me there

the doctor says,
he will be happy to do it,

an icy hand
makes me shiver
real hard

I don’t like his touch

“Let go!
Let go!

he continues to push
down so hard on your belly
he smashes my lip

“Get away!”
I want to scream
but no sounds,
nothing comes
out of my mouth
I suck on my
thumb
until I am not afraid

Where do I go?
How can I hide?
Who can I tell?

I want to live?
I want to live?

Who will save me?

When they can’t
even see me?

I can’t run
I don’t know yet
how to crawl

Jesus whispered to me,
“I was given as a trust”

I am floating inside you
I am a mirror to you
The Lord trusted you
to keep me inside
of you
until my cries are strong
enough

for you to hear
for you to want me

I feel something
sharp

Jesus whispered to me,
“I was given as a trust”

The Lord trusted you
to keep me inside
I feel like I want to be
born,
if you saw me I know
you would love me,

I don’t know
something has me
my toes are falling
from me
being picked as
fresh flowers
to bury somebody

it hurts!
it hurts!
it hurts!

mommy please stop him!

something has grabbed
me,
with such force,
I didn’t think you
would let the man
with the mask
hurt me

why did you let him?
hurt me?

my legs are being
ripped from me
does he mean to eat me?

this hurts, am i being
born?

I have alot of holes
red water is pouring
out
will it still be alright?

I don’t want to come
Jesus didn’t say,
“it would hurt so.”
Once I was happy
hearing your
heartbeat,
I thought I was safe
I thought we
were

I lived with you
and then I died with you 2/24/11

Then the Lord took me in His Arms
whispered His Love for me,
closed my eyes,
and kissed my cheeks

“You were given as a trust,
but the blessing of you was not
received.”

misfit1965
(not my image)