i Felt my Saviour

In the hours of natural slumber, the Spirit of My Saviour held my soul. It wasn’t a believer’s dream. i knew the physical manifestation of my Saviour’s Touch. A beautiful feeling embraced my innermost being. It was an intimacy i have not the talent to describe. But i must testify to you, i felt my Saviour’s Holy Touch. His Gracious, Loving Touch swept over me, every beautiful feeling enmeshed, love, joy peace, gentleness, forgiveness, mercy, grace, healing, every passionate hope, every incredible and powerful emotion was a crescendo of intensity and deep intimacy from within the places no one can touch. He reached down and the glitter of creation washed over me, the awe of no beginning and no end, Holy Fear, Redemption magnified, Momentary Glory rushed through me, His Embrace was mine, and i knew the Warmest, Most Beautiful Heart of the Universe, it was the Familiar Soul of My Creator. It had been a long time since the Embrace of Perfection reached into me to Comfort me, and in that time i never wanted Jesus to take the Beauty of His Love away. There is a Feeling to the Lord, it is the Most Passionate, and Exciting Expression of my Life. His Love took Flight inside me, and gave me wings like an eagles, and i soared high. His Perfect Love, understood, accepted and realized this woman of rejection. Perhaps this is why His touch is so incredulous to me. It was birth at the Hands of My Lord. i never wanted Jesus to leave me. No one else, nothing else mattered, only His Being with me. Only His Incredible Presence of Joy and Love. The aching of living i had, were suddenly washed away by the rivers of Living waters that poured out of me. i was a river in the desert of my being. i knew His Resurrection Power, i was a beautiful wonder in those moments when the revelation of life became mine. i grasped a glimpse of His Glory. Gripped tightly the Righteous Robes, like the woman of the issue of blood. The Shimmering Radiance of His Light briefly danced inside my puny soul. It was the Glorious Touch of Jesus, it could have been no one else.

It was the Exceptional Beauty of My Lord. If i could have seen, i know my flesh lit up like gold. It was sublime. The Precious State of Grace was my heartbeat. i was intimate with Him, a quiet repose took over me. A hushing calm. He annointed me with oil. When these rare communions come into me, i know I am a Precious Jewel, Ruby and Sapphires, He has put on my fingers. i am one of His Elect, He is My Bridegroom. He alone knows the innermost spaces, the haunted and broken rooms of the chambers of my being. Jesus is Master of my wounds, His empathetic Hands cleansed the desperate and lonely worlds inside that have festered and oozed with the infection of countless rejections, that had twisted me.

Oh Come and Taste the Goodness of the Lord! Yes, it is a Real Touch. A Holy Touch. i Belong to Him, more than to anyone else. He Belongs to me. By His Grace, By His Gracious and Loving Sacrifice. My heart was glorified and lifted out of the twisted wreckage of its suffering. In that brief time suffering was a distant nightmare. To be touched by Jesus is to know that there will be no more tears with God, no more pain, no more suffering, no more loneliness, and all of the fallen feelings of sin. This glimpse of His Beauty is unimaginable bliss. i have never been more alive than in those brief encounters with Jesus. i am most alive in His Presence, in His Light, in Him. i don’t mean to elevate myself, that’s just it, i didn’t elevate myself. He elevated me. He said, “Come up Here!” He lifted me out of myself. The mere flesh in me was grander and so much more. With God, life is so much more abundant. The touch of the Lord is the beginning of an incredible life with Him. It was the Shepherd’s Healing Touch. It must have been the same Healing Touch when He reached out His hands to heal 2,000 years ago. No one ever touched me so perfectly, so lovingly, so graciously, so gently, not even my mother’s embraces as a baby, not even my daughter’s as an infant, nor any man i have ever loved. No, there was always pain in human touch. The pain of their imperfect love, tainted with the sin of humanity, no matter how well-meant, those embraces and touches are, pales poorly in comparison. The Touch of Jesus is so amazingly rich, the depth, and height, and width, and length are the dimensions the bible speaks of to describe His Love do exist. The supernatural Awe of His Love, reached into those invisible, broken places that only He Knows exists within this frail and vulnerable existence.

He awakened me, called me out of myself, as if to resurrect me like Lazarus. In that time, i was transported to the Realm of Heaven, where no sin exists, no flaws, no corruption, no suffering, it was Glory manifested, and my soul lit up with the fire of My Lord. i touched a piece of the sun. The universe was cradled inside me, Jesus was with me. Don’t you understand, Jesus touched me. His soul embraced me, a mere grain of sand that He could have let slip out of His Magnificent Touch. Yet, He kept the grain of dust for awhile, and the grain delighted and marveled, and laughed and was awed, and couldn’t contain such a touch. He wanted to hold me longer, but it wasn’t possible, i being only human. It wasn’t possible, not now, but He held me long enough that I am indelibly imprinted. i am touched of the Lord. I don’t care what anyone may think of me. i am physically touched by Jesus. It doesn’t always happen, but since i have been touched by the Lord before i have missed the manifestation of His Grace. The Holy Spirit in me lit up like a Roman candle. i was real. Then i returned to being only flesh.

But i am promised that one day that this manifestation will be eternal. i will always be in that Wonderful Presence of Light. i will be lit up like gold and diamonds. i will be glorified one day upon my departure from this world. i will awaken to my real life. i will open my eyes and i will finally lay down my body from this journey like old clothes. My heart will sigh, and cry out before My Holy God, “Home at last! i am finally home at last!” Never to leave the Glorious Presence of the One who touched me and saved me.

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